From: Research Section
To: 2nd Bureau, Directorate for Sensitive Persons and Small Things
Please find the information you requested enclosed herewith. Complementary documents, including surveillance video, photographs, and verbatim transcriptions of telephone intercepts are available in annex but must be requested separately, per admin. reg. 3-a.7.84, and require 4R clearance for release.
Case File: #25384967-34
Code Name: SOLITAIRE
Full Name: Charlotte Clementine MINKOWSKI
Civil Status: Single
Religious Affiliation: Vague
Metempsychic Progress: VOS
Sometimes, I like to pretend that some vast intelligence service is compiling a secret dossier about me, for ambiguous, impenetrable, perhaps even unspeakable bureaucratic reasons.
I seldom leave my attic these days, except to go pretend to work at the gallery, or to borrow books at the library, or to buy groceries, or to practice swing dancing, or to learn “telepathy,” or watercolor painting, or qigong, or whatever—depending on the quirky evening class I happen to be taking at the moment to remind myself I’m alive. So I’m not sure what, if anything, could possibly be included in such a file. Maybe after a couple of days of surveillance, they would just get bored and drop the whole thing.
But maybe they wouldn’t. Maybe they would see something in me that I don’t.
Anyway, I hope they include pictures: I’ve never thought of myself as “beautiful,” but—on good days at least—I’m surprisingly photogenic.